I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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