what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
