Yo dont text me then not text me
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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