The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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