I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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