i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
