you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
