Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
