is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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