Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
