Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
