Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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