I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
