i permit you to call me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
