Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I AM VODKA MAN
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
