"it" just moved
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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