I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
