I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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