Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
