Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
