No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
