I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize