I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sorry my hands just texted you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
