just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
