you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize