He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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