Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
