dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
