I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
