Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
