i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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