im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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