i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
