Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
