Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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