I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
