we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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