This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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