my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize