carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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