you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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