overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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