i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
