My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
