Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
