We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I party with great urgency now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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