I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
