just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
