also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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