I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
