he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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