ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
