I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
jump out the window naked night went bad
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
