Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
