The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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