Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize