Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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