you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
