it was like eating out sand paper
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
