I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
