apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
